i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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