I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
