Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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