I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
