I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
