I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
