i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
