i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize