remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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