We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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