I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
