Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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