Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
