try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
