I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
