dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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