i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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