Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
