it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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