I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
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