just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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