Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
