He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
