i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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