the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Come see our sink grown plant.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
