i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
