guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
