I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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