theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
