Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
