So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize