Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
