I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
