Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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