I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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