Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
