You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
