their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
