Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
