I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize