god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
