So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
