she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
