Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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