Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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