Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
