dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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