dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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