sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
