I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
