You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize