do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
