I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
