apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
