the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
